Representing Your Scene

Representing Your Scene


The Adventures of Lightspeed – Always the Runner Up

January 13, 2017 - All, Reviews
The Adventures of Lightspeed – Always the Runner Up
The Adventures of Lightspeed - Always the Runner Up
Always the Runner Up

The Adventures of Lightspeed - Always the Runner Up rating

The Adventures of Lightspeed - Always the Runner Up ken crumptonEvery now and then we get a message at The Medway Jellyfish telling us just how brilliant we are. Quite often these message are praising my incredible jokes or Johns’s world class reviewing abilities. Well, have we got a treat for you today. This review was originally being worked on by John who has now passed his notes on to old Ken Crumpton (that’s me). There is some bad news though. John gave up on the review because he wasn’t a big fan of the EP. Woops.

Why do I love John? Because he’s provided me with all the information needed for the intro which means I can stay well away from Google. What a gem of a fella. The Adventures of Lightspeed are a 4-piece pop/punk band from Kent. They are inspired by bands like Jimmy Eat World, Brand New and Taking Back Sunday. “Always the Runner Up” is the band’s first effort so I’ll be incredibly kind. Just kidding.

It opens with “Accommodate“. There’s a subtle and emotive intro but as soon as it drops it sounds like Paramore or something. But not one of their big ones. One of the album tracks no-one gives a shit about. From one of the albums no-one gives a shit about. The vocals start and… Oh hang on, I think my wife is listening to Placebo in the next room. Fucking bitch. I’m trying to do a review here. Oh wait, no – It’s the vocalist of this band. Have you ever thought: “I’d love to hear Placebo make a pop punk album?” No. Me neither. Is this the worst song in the world? No, not at all. Is it the best? No fucking way. Not in the top 10 million.

Do we need to resurrect John Lennon to tell everyone to stop making music that sounds like everybody else’s music again? Yes, absolutely.

The second track, “Understand“, actually has a video to it. Professionally shot and all that. Sweet – Nice one, lads. Let’s have a look.

The video is about a girl who has a boyfriend that keeps looking at other women? This is one of the most original ideas I have ever heard of. I personally believe this music video will go down in the history of cinema. These boys have made Stanley Kubrik look a right cunt. But it’s not all serious. There’s comical moments too. There’s a guy selling popcorn and people walk by and throw the popcorn in his face. LOL! It’s genius. It really reminds me of “The Office”. The subtly is second to none.

The last track, “movies” opens with pace but instantly drops back to sing-along pop punk shit. If you’re going to write music that all sounds the same you’re gonna have to make it catchy or something. I’m at the end of the EP now and I can’t really remember any of the choruses. I wasn’t a massive fan of Paramore back in the day but I still remember “Misery Business” 8 years later. All too well. That’s your job: Have 14 year old fans and make everyone else hate that your song is stuck in their head.

I really can’t help but feel plenty of people will love this band. Millions of people like One Direction, for fuck sake. People will buy any old shit these days if they “look cool” and sound like all the other bands they listen to. I have no doubt this band has the opportunity to do very well. They could potentially sell a lot of records – to complete fucking idiots. They’ll buy their t-shirts too. And it will look great with their skinny jeans and Converses.




Ken Crumpton